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Dear Aunty Raine,

I am very worried about my wife. She has recently got into spiritualism after being told by a woman who knocked on the door, selling ‘Lucky heather’ that she had a ‘gift’.

I do feel, however, that she is abusing this new-found power.

It started off with her passing on some rather lovely messages from my deceased parents, telling me how proud they were of me since I got my new job as Sewerage Inspector at our local water company. I actually wept with joy when my wife went into a trance one night and said ‘Your mother is here! She is here! Ooooooooooooooooh! She speaketh to me! Your mother says when she saw you with your hand down that drain this afternoon, that she has never been so proud!’

But things have taken a bad turn over these last couple of weeks. For instance, this evening she went into one of her trances and said ‘Your Nan is calling to me, I can feel her cold hand on my shoulder, she has a message for you……………………..she says you’ve got to do the washing up and put the bins out’

Once she came out of her trance I asked her why it was so important to my late grandmother that I wash up and put the bins out. She said ‘I am merely a conduit for the voices of the departed, it is not my place to question their motives’.

I am very sceptical about this. Last week she went into a trance and claimed that my late grandfather had told her that he wanted me to get the ironing done and massage her feet.

I know for a fact that my grandfather suffered from Podophobia, which is a fear of feet. He saw a psychiatrist for it after my grandmother got sick of hearing him scream the place down when he took his socks off every night.

I really have some serious doubts that he would have said this to her.

My wife is adamant that the dead really are in touch with her.

How do I deal with this difficult and sensitive situation?

I can’t write any more, my wife has just channeled a message from my late aunt Maggie that she wants me to clear out the guttering.

Yours, spookily, Dick. Southport

Aunty Raine says;

Dear spooky Dick,

Could you do me a favour? My late husband Reggie had a Swiss bank account that he stashed some of his ‘earnings’ in and in the 25 years since he died, (He ate poisonous mushrooms, which I had nothing to do with and can provide a concrete alibi for if need be), I have never been able to trace the account!

Would you please ask your wife to try and have a word with him for me?

If he gets through to her and speaks with a lisp, then its definitely him.

Cheers!

Hope that helps! Aunty Raine

Remember! Is there anybody there? Knock once for yes and twice for no!

 

 

 

 

 

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