Hot Chat Magazine

Dear Readers,

I would like to introduce myself; my name is Penelope Smithers and I am ‘Head of Investigations’ for ‘OFAG’, the Agony Aunt watchdog……………………..I can see pretty unicorns and they are doing the Charleston in front of me……………………….and I have just come back from investigating the allegations made by Jean Price against………………Roll me over in the clover, roll me over lay me down and do it again!………………….Raine Vincent.

Raine was most hospitable and took me to meet her friend, the popular local cult leader ‘Realisatodor’……………………………..I’ve got special feet…………………………who gave me a warm welcome and a large slice of his delicious home-baked cake.  He was a little vague as to the exact ingredients, it had an attractive greenish hue to it……………………..Rasputin is walking across my living room carpet!…………………………….and the cake had a very unusual, yet tasty, herbal flavour.

You bet I didn’t turn a second slice down!………………………Flannels, Flannels, Flannels………………….And ‘Realisatodor’ let me bring the rest home in some tin foil to have with a cup of tea this afternoon………………………There’s an alien probing my brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I can personally attest to the fact that this man is NOT A FAKE as before meeting him I had been suffering from a 3 week-long headache and now…….Spartacus……….I can’t feel my head at all! Not even with all my three hands.

Yes, he cured me! So Raine Vincent is exonerated of all charges and can return to Agony Aunting with immediate effect!

My mother has got a purple dog and he is president of the universe.

Penelope Smithers OFAG

 

A word from the editor: Hot Chat Magazine

We, at Hot Chat, are delighted with the findings of the thorough investigations which have been conducted by OFAG and look forward to Aunty Raine returning to her role as soon as possible.

Judith de Souza

Editor

 

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